Books I’ll (Probably) Never Read Book Tag!

The original book tag: Books I’ll (Probably) Never Read [Original Tag] by littlespider9, with some additional questions by me

Initial thoughts: I obviously don’t specifically avoid bad books—especially self-published bad books. Quality is not a requirement for me, haha. Similarly, I don’t usually care about the author’s life and controversies beyond buying it second-hand so as to not support the author. I’d probably avoid JKR at this point, because she keeps doubling-down in a way no other author is publicly doing, but I do have Piper CJ’s book for example.

1. A really hyped book you’re not interested in reading

Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune

I love TJ Klune—not The House in the Ceruleun Sea, that was just three-stars, but The Lightning-Struck Heart was hilarious, can’t wait to read more in Verania—but I am -1000% interested in a book that deliberately sets out to be a tear-jerker. No thank you, regardless of how beloved he and his books are online these days. Or how beautiful the cover is.

Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller and other recent Greek retellings—Lies We Sing to the Sea by Sarah Underwood, Circe by Madeline Miller, Ariadne by Jennifer Saint

There has been a deluge of Greek-retellings in the last few years. I have no idea why this sub-genre popped off again, but I’m not riding the hype train. I’m still exhausted by it and don’t anticipate not being forever exhausted by it.

I can appreciate the “twist on” vibe to most of these. Or the focus on lesser characters. But I’m still bored. Also, I did try Circe but it was immediately obvious that it was going to be graphic and unhappy and why would I want to keep reading that?

2. A famous author you’re not interested in

Colleen Hoover: I have heard nothing but awful things about her books, I will leave this to the TikTok girlies and stay far, far away. I do kind of like watching Hoover hate videos, though, because the internet encourages schadenfreude and I give into it.

Riley Sager: I have not heard anything bad about him, but I’m just not that into thrillers (or mysteries, really). His books have wildly variable reviews from the BookTubers I watch and none of them have a premise that screams “must read immediately” so I’m just not interested.

3. A book your friend keeps pushing on you

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

I cannot adequately describe how much my best friend has tried to push this book onto me. Despite me repeatedly telling her that I’ve seen the cover—not my vibe; I’ve read the blurb—not intrigued; I’ve read the genres—I can’t do horror; I’ve watched review and discussions—too many things I’m going to hate.

She’s tried so hard to convince me with this detail or that detail. The second person perspective. The kick-butt characters. The amazing world-building and plotting and etc. etc.

But I’m going to hate it. Why would I want to reach one of my best friend’s favorite books knowing that I’m going to dislike it so much? And it’s no short-story—it clocks in at 450 pages!

4. A series you won’t start/won’t be finishing

Dune by Frank Herbert

I have read the first book and I will very aggressively never be reading the sequels.

“You can’t understand the real Dune without reading at least the second book” is just moving the goal posts. Just admit that the first book sucks, guys. It absolutely did not age well. It’s the father to space operas and sci fiction, sure, that’s fine—and thank god we’ve progressed since then.

5. A classic you’re not interested in

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

So I actually did try to read this back in college. My study abroad roommate raved about this book, it was her favorite classic. She said it had the most amazing, lyrical writing. That it was so beautifully written in contrast to its insanely awful topic.

I did not see what she saw, wow. All I saw was an absolute creep romanticizing pedophilia, and the author romanticizing it along with him. That “so beautifully written” text in in support of pedophilia, guys. I got maybe 30 pages in before I needed to quit, take a shower in bleach, and then question every single person who ever spoke fondly of this book.

6. A genre you never read

Horror: I don’t enjoy being scared, generally. I definitely scare easily, but it’s not an emotion that I find fun or actively seek to experience. Like not reading horror, I don’t watch it, nor do I even participate in scary-themed Halloween events or haunted houses. Disney’s Not-So-Scary Halloween is the scariest I’ll bother with, thank you.

Biographies: I mean this in the kindest way possible, but… I just don’t care. Look, it’s not you, it’s me. You’re lovely. I’m certain you have an amazing life experience and I encourage you to share your story, your lessons, and your perspective with the world. Just not with me. Because I don’t care. #sorrynotsorry

(And if you’re a dead person? I’m even less interested—history was my least favorite subject in school for a reason. I just don’t engage with it naturally.)

Most non-fiction: There are exceptions, but even the exceptions take me absolute eons and have to be a super niche and intriguing topic for me to try. I read for fun, not education. I read to escape reality. I read to go on an adventure. I read to live as someone else for a bit. Non-fiction is almost never any of those.

7. A book on your shelves you’ll probably never actually read

The Poppy War by RF Kuang

I have two general thoughts on this:

1. I will finish Babel even if I die trying. It is impossible to express my frustration at my inability to just finish that book. It is just so heavy, so emotionally dark, so poignant in all the ways that hit me personally, that I struggle. I love all the characters. I adore the setting and the magic and intrigue. The writing style is very, very good—too good, one could say, given my reactions. I will get there. I will conquer this. (And I will not start another RF Kuang before I do. Looking at you, Yellowface.)

2. The blurb just doesn’t sound interesting. I’m sorry! It’s high fantasy. It’s action. It’s Chinese-inspired. I should absolutely be vibing with it. But there’s just something about it that my brain is like “meh” every time I read it.

But anyways, I got it second-hand for like $2 so of course I picked it up. You know. Just in case.

8. A book you won’t admit you won’t read

Well that would be telling… 🤫